Response to abortion, sex outside marriage and gay marriages

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The wisdom expressed in Qur’an, Al-Hujurat, Surah 49:13 focuses on building societies where we learn about each other and know each other, so we have fewer conflicts and greater harmony.   “O mankind! We have created you male and female, and have made you nations and tribes that ye may know one another. The noblest of you, in sight of God, is the best in conduct. God Knows and is Aware of everything you do.”

The following is my personal opinion from the intent of building cohesive societies. These questions were thrown in the discussions at
1. Who will determine what good conduct is?

Narrower understanding: The religious authorities determine the good conduct from a regulation point of view –  Obey God, no adultery, no thievery, no prostitution, no child molestation, no rape, no murder,  no cheating, be truthful and do not violate the laws of the society/ God.   

Larger understanding: The overall wellbeing of the society is at stake. As long as people do not make incursions and meddle with others’ space, sustenance and nurturance, individuals and the “dynamic” society determines the good conduct.  After all no one is responsible for the karma of other.

2. Which of the following is considered as good conduct by you?


Abortion usually is not the right thing to do, we have no right to kill another being, particularly the unborn, but circumstances must be factored in before a decision is made and the woman who carries the child should have the educated choices available to her.  If her life is in danger, abortion is the only choice, particularly if she has a few other babies to care for. As a society, we really have not created the mechanism to give that child the normal life if he or she were born. Abortion should be the very last resort after exhausting all the possibilities and counseling.

Sex without marriage
Not a good conduct – as it creates a lot of imbalance in the societies, particularly where woman is economically dependent and men invariably tend to take advantage of her. However, in a society like ours, it is consensual and usually a responsible act, no hurt is intended and no imbalance is created. But it also has created a lot of unwanted and irresponsible pregnancies resulting in a messed up society in terms of the kind of kids that would be inhabitants of the society.  We would be constantly managing the imbalances of the society. It continues to be a sin (bad for the society), but no punishment like 100 lashes or stoning to death is needed. They have to live their own lives, education is the only thing to ensure a good society.

Gay Marriages

As people of faith, Muslims and Christians in particular need to do extensive research on the topic – what is dished out as a fact may not be the word of Allah, we have made several mistakes in understanding Qur’an/ Bible, and we need to emphasize in finding the truth rather than jumping on  what is narrated to us as the truth; the Sodom and Gomorrah narration. 
Same formula; consensual adults, and no hurt intended to any and no hurt is heaped on either party either psychologically or physically.  It is their life and they can choose to live the way that fits them, as long as they are not messing with my space, food and loved ones.

As a society, we need to ensure that their God given right to live their life is not violated, they should enjoy all the privileges other people enjoy in a marriage ( I take it you have done studies – if not it will run into many pages). A sense of justness must be the overriding factor in dealing with the issue.

Lewdness need to be penalized whether it is the same sex or opposite sex – and the standards are set differently in each society from acceptance to intolerance. 

You and I are not responsible for any one’s karma other than our own. However, if a man rapes a woman, a man rapes a man, a man abuses a child, a man is involved in incest, they are all hurting the other and as a society we have the responsibility to punish them to curb that behavior to protect the weak, innocent, or disadvantaged or powerless.

It is time we face up the issues and not hold it back from judgmental attitudes of fellow Muslims and fellow beings at large. 

Mike Ghouse, a speaker, thinker and a write on Islam, Pluralism and interfaith issues. All about his work is indexed at and 

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